Hello Parents the following are just a few guidelines that I am recommending for upcoming conferences
Conference Guidelines for Parents
- Be "straight" in your communication--neither aggressive and demanding nor apologetic, embarrassed, uncomfortable. Be what you, in fact, are--a responsible mature, concerned parent with some questions to present candidly.
- Be prepared to listen, but do ask for clarification when you don't understand. Don't settle for a lot of words. Be sure you really understand what the teacher is saying. Be prepared to ask questions to help clarify what actually happens in the classroom.
- Express a willingness to help and to share in solving the problem. ("What can I do? How would you want me to help?)
- When you talk with the teacher, express your own ideas, concerns, and observations, rather than what you suppose or believe to be the teacher's problems. In other words, you are taking responsibility initially. [This may be expressed with "I" rather than "you" statements, "I've been watching (talking to) my child and I have some questions..."]
- Focus on "how the problem can be resolved," not on polarized attitudes ("us versus the school," or "Sally versus the teacher").
- Don't over-dwell on past angers, hurts, complaints with teachers--the key question is "where do we go from here?"
- Emphasize the child's work, feelings, concerns, or behavior. Deal with evidence of the child's actual reaction.
- Be alert for opportunities to be positive about the child, and the teacher--don't be totally negative.
- Don't criticize the teacher personally. Strive to help avoid defensiveness and hostility.
- Don't attack the teacher's intentions or feelings about your child.
- Be prepared to share with the teacher constructive information about your child's interests and activities outside school; this may help.
- Don't settle for "explanations" that rely on vague opinions or fuzzy generalizations. Maintain efforts to see that the discussion focuses on the child's behavior, your expectations and those of the teacher for helping the child.
- If reference is made to tests or test scores, ask for a full explanation of the meaning of the scores--numbers aren't useful in themselves! If no comprehensive evaluation has been conducted, ask how that might be arranged.
You have a right to know, in an understandable way, whatever the school knows about your child's ability and performance...
Follow-up after the Conference Guidelines for Parents
