Tips for parent conferenceTips for parent conference

Hello Parents the following are just a few guidelines that I am recommending for upcoming conferences

 

Conference Guidelines for Parents 

  1. Be "straight" in your communication--neither aggressive and demanding nor apologetic, embarrassed, uncomfortable. Be what you, in fact, are--a responsible mature, concerned parent with some questions to present candidly.
  2. Be prepared to listen, but do ask for clarification when you don't understand. Don't settle for a lot of words. Be sure you really understand what the teacher is saying. Be prepared to ask questions to help clarify what actually happens in the classroom.
  3. Express a willingness to help and to share in solving the problem. ("What can I do? How would you want me to help?)
  4. When you talk with the teacher, express your own ideas, concerns, and observations, rather than what you suppose or believe to be the teacher's problems. In other words, you are taking responsibility initially. [This may be expressed with "I" rather than "you" statements, "I've been watching (talking to) my child and I have some questions..."]
  5. Focus on "how the problem can be resolved," not on polarized attitudes ("us versus the school," or "Sally versus the teacher").
  6. Don't over-dwell on past angers, hurts, complaints with teachers--the key question is "where do we go from here?"
  7. Emphasize the child's work, feelings, concerns, or behavior. Deal with evidence of the child's actual reaction.
  8. Be alert for opportunities to be positive about the child, and the teacher--don't be totally negative.
  9. Don't criticize the teacher personally. Strive to help avoid defensiveness and hostility.
  10. Don't attack the teacher's intentions or feelings about your child.
  11. Be prepared to share with the teacher constructive information about your child's interests and activities outside school; this may help.
  12. Don't settle for "explanations" that rely on vague opinions or fuzzy generalizations. Maintain efforts to see that the discussion focuses on the child's behavior, your expectations and those of the teacher for helping the child.
  13. If reference is made to tests or test scores, ask for a full explanation of the meaning of the scores--numbers aren't useful in themselves! If no comprehensive evaluation has been conducted, ask how that might be arranged.

You have a right to know, in an understandable way, whatever the school knows about your child's ability and performance...

Follow-up after the Conference Guidelines for Parents 

  1. If you still feel dissatisfied, concerned, unhappy, etc.--"don't blow it." Share as honestly as possible that you are still concerned and ask the teacher what else might be suggested to resolve or clarify the situation. If he/she doesn't know (or claims not to), state that you would like to discuss the matter further with other people present (principal, school counselor, coordinator, etc.).
  2. Be willing to take what the teacher says under advisement: e.g., "That sounds OK, but I'm not sure I understand fully--let me think it over and call you back."
  3. Be willing to go along with a suggestion if it sounds plausible, but set up another appointment to evaluate how things have progressed. Don't let things merely drag on. Keep in mind what you and the teacher agree will happen. What is the teacher going to do? What is the child expected to do? Who else will be involved, and to do what? When will you start? When will you meet to evaluate what happens?
  4. You do want your child to develop tolerance of others' ideas and self-discipline. Help the child to learn and accept that everyone must sometimes do things under pressure from others. (But don't let this become a substitute for solving the problem!)
  5. Don't threaten or act angrily toward the teacher.
  6. If the teacher is (overly) concerned about "basic skills", seek efforts which will determine accurately what the child's actual needs are, and how these basic skills can be demonstrated without undue drill or repetition. [Is curriculum compacting a possibility, as explained in Susan Winebrenner's book "Teaching Gifted Children in the Regular Classroom"?]
  7. Help plan ways for your child to demonstrate competence without being seen as a "show off" to reduce boredom and idle time in the classroom.
  8. Work with the school and school organizations to help obtain materials and resources to create new learning opportunities for all students.
  9. If the point comes where frustrations continues to increase, seek specialized help (Gifted Coordinator, director of Special Education) to locate special programs, classes or another school program more suited to the goals and needs of your family."